Friday, January 25, 2013

The hardest three years of my life occurred almost ten years ago. The death of my wife 24, March 2003 was preceded by almost a month of her feeling ill with symptoms of an upper respiratory system infection, laryngitis, cough, and some shortness of breath. She became so short of breath, I forced her to go to be evaluated. Ten days later she had passed. The ovarian cancer had silently filled her with its far reaching tentacles. There was no organ in her body that wan't touched.
Everything progressed so rapidly, it was hard for our family to comprehend what was was happening. It was hard on us all, but the blessing in this was, my wife did not have to suffer the prolonged pain and agony that accompanies many of the deaths from cancer.
There was a glimmer of joy in 2003, my son and his fiancee wed in August of that year. They had wanted to delay the ceremony, but my wifef had been looking forward to it and I said "No." All the planning was done and my wife would not have wanted them to delay. It was all I could do to get myself, my younger daughter, and my mother-in-law to Cottonwood, Arizone that year.
My mother-in-law was my best friend. I think the death of her daughter changed something inside of her and she died the next year as well as a nephew. Their deaths so close to my wife's death reopened many wounds.
Now the third year. On the same day, 24, March 2005 my mother died. It was a coincidence, but what can I say. It happened. I amost wanted to give up, but my kids were still there and they were in as much pain as I was. I couldn't cause any more grief. My mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease. I guess I should say the family suffered. She hadn't known what was happening for almost four years. The only thing different between Satan and Alzheimer's is Alzheimer's steals the person's mind and soul for only a short time and not for eternity.

Just to let you know that I care.
I sought you out to share your grief.
It was my desire to be there,
Hopefully to give some relief.
It doesn't take much to share tears,
Or lending strength and giving heart.
As we travel throughout the years
It takes some time in a small part.
There's caring behind the intent
Of an embrace or a gentle touch.
Only a little time is spent.
It costs little, but means so much.
When you lighten another's load,
The tender bonds of friendship grow.
Remember, no matter which road
Is walked, there's friends who care, you know.
In drying tears from someones face,
Comforting by holding a hand,
Calming when loneliness would chase,
Helps each other to understand.
Oft friendship grows in subtle way
With just a smile or but a wave.
Though tmes swiftly goes, your friends stay
And will remember what you gave.

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