Afraid. I’m Afraid I Am
I am fearful of what I am thinking of what I am about to do. This past winter has made me deadset on downsizing. I can no longer manage to live in and care for a four bedroom house by myself. At 75 why do I need a house this large? Keeping it clean is a major undertaking and I find myself falling behind on many chores. Cooking and “redding” up afterwarc is more than enough some days. I have begun to actively search for a smaller home on one level with a basement, garage, or storage building.
It’s the thought of moving that causes me to cringe. The last time I moved was almost 45 years ago and that was a Herculaean labor. I was under thirty and had a wife, in-laws, and parents to help. Now I have three kids, spouses, and granddaughters. But they have their lives to live as well. I don’t want to impose on them, but it will have to happen. Some of the things tucked into the attic, basement, and nooks of my house belong to them. I have told them that when I make the move, I will take what I want and need; the rest will stay in the house.I will give them one month to retrieve what they want and the rest will be sold at auction. Once the house is cleared of everything that is not nailed down, I’ll sell the house. It is the only way I can save my sanity. Any other way will be much too stressful.
The jumble of paperwork and legal intricasies that I face are another of my concerns. Back during my first attemp at establishing a new home, my wife Cindy Morrison Beck was there helping to explore the purchase of land, mobile home, and set-up. As newly weds, it was an adventure.
Later when we sold that home and bought this home, the move was definitely a task. Cindy’s dad Elmer (Bud) Morrisan helped us move with his truck. We carried out load after load and Bud said, “Are you carrying out from the back and then back inside?”
We had things stored everywhere and because this house is bigger, it will be much worse. I cower at the thoughts of sorting through the accumulated ‘heirlooms” and ever multiplying paper trails. This has been the collection spot for my past generation and I’ve lived here for nearly forty years.