Va-va-va-voom

 Va-va-va-voom

Recalling the time I attended a weekend wedding at a Russian Orthodox Catholic Church. I’ve never had to deal with anything like it before and pray that I never will again. I described the inside of the sanctuary of yellow brick before. It was perched on the side of a steep hill, after all it is Pittsburgh. The parking was limited and I parked in the priest’s driveway at the rectory. After all, he was going to be busy for awhile. The bridesmaid’s dresses varied a bit, but all wore black with slits up the side showing thighs. The groomsmen wore black, some with black neck ties and some with red bowties. The priest wore a silver patterned robe. The bride wore a lovely form-fitting white lace gown. Although there was no music, all seemed normal until the priest began the litany describing the virality of biblical men and the fertility of biblical women. I’m sure he would have mentioned the name of Mary’s mother if he’d known her name. The cantor (not Eddie Cantor) continued in the same vein with his off key chant. Each time the priest said “Amen” I prayed it was the end and each time he mentioned, “Mercy,” ending the litany would have been merciful. But no, he droned on.

There was one young lady in the audience who was wearing a bright red, form-fitting soft material dress. The most remarkable thing about her was she was tall. Her long straight dark hair only accentuated her height. The hem of her skirt swept up into a V slightly higher than mid thigh. I commented to my friend, “Who’s the girl wearing the red glove?” It was that tight.

The videographer had his case beside me and I teasingly said, “Did you bring enough batteries.” He said that he is a non-practicing Russian Orthodox and the ceremony we were watching was a condensed version. When the priest retreated behind the saloon doors, I teased my friend that the priest must have been upset that we clapped instead of ringing the bell-clad wands and now was getting for some sacramental wines.

There was about two hours between the ceremony and the reception. We visited with my friend’s friend’s house. At the reception I couldn’t help but notice that the girl with the red glove dress had changed into a dark green dress that shimmered like satin. It was again form-fitting, accentuating her height and shape. Only one other person drew as much attention that she did. A man wore a bright orange and black suit with jack o’lanterns emblazoned on it.

Plane and Simple

Plane and Simple

I can barely remember my first flight in an airplane. It was a very short flight from the Connellsville Airport in a small plane, probably something like a piper cub. It couldn’t have been much bigger. I remember there was just enough room for the pilot, my dad and for me. It was some special occasion when the airport and pilot were selling rides.

The second flight was in a commercial jet shortly after my induction into the Navy. The memory of the ride in an elevator at the Federal Building in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania was much more stomach lurching to experience than the actual flight to Great Lakes Naval Training Center for boot camp. I was already nervous, but when the elevator lurched upward or dropped downward, I almost lost my lunch.

After boot camp and corps school, I flew to Orlando, Florida. It was my first assignment at the Naval Hospital. It and was before Disneyland opened. The airport was a small L-shaped building with metal gates at each end that pulled down and locked overnight, much like stores at the mall. Orlando didn’t have much of a draw for tourism at that time.

I made several flights home to Pennsylvania during my two year assignment in Orlando, but there was nothing really memorable about them, but when in Florida I was on the lookout for license plates from Pennsylvania. On one trip home I remember my parents driving me home from the airport and thinking to myself, “Wow, there’s another plate from Pennsylvania.” Then I thought, “You dummy. We’re in Pennsylvania.”

The next memorable flight for me was from Florida to Keflavik, Iceland with a layover in St. John’s, Newfoundland. In Iceland a group of corpsmen were fortunate enough to hook up with a physician who needed flight hours to get his commercial license. We’d pool our money to rent a plane and the doctor would fly us at no charge. After flying in jets, the first flight felt as though the smaller plane wasn’t travelling fast enough to stay aloft and felt as though it would surely fall out of the sky. We flew to several places on the island, even crossing over the Arctic Circle to get my “blue nose” certificate. I was also able to fly to several destinations on the island in military transports delivering supplies.

I flew to Philadelphia to be discharged. The heat and humidity in the barracks lacked air conditioning and in August was almost unbearable after the 60 degree weather in Iceland. I was so glad to catch the plane to Pittsburgh and home.

Since then I’ve flown to California with a friend and to Arizona for my son Andrew’s wedding and to Texas. 

Come Blow Your Horn

 Come Blow Your Horn

I am not usually a person who blows my own horn, but as a writer and author, I do need to sell myself to sell my finished product. I’ve written for a long time, well over forty years, but because of a challenge to write a detective story to share in another writers group I wouldn’t have been published. A woman who was just starting a publishing company heard my story and suggested that I write some more tales about the retired homicide detective, Tommy Two Shoes. Because of her insistence, I now have four books with Thomas Minerd, retired Pittsburgh Police Department detective mystery books, each book is a compilation of short stories which makes it easy to pick up and put back down as it’s read.
My last book, The Walls Came Tumbling Down is a full length novel about Rahab, a Canaanite prostitute, how she met, fell in love with an enemy and married a devout Jewish man, Salmon. Their union is mentioned in later pages of the Bible.
Mary Kaufman, the new librarian for the Mt. Pleasant Public Library suggested to a couple of reporters that it might make a good story to interview Fred Adams and myself as local authors. Well, I did an interview on this last day of August. I was able to share some of my writing history and my nursing career. I was also able to introduce the newest novel to be out soon, Addie.
She seemed genuinely intrigued that I had no specific genre or subject that I liked to write about. I told her, “Whatever project I was working on was my favorite at that time:” poetry, Haiku, children’s books, love stories, and of course mysteries. She asked if I planned to write more Tommy Two Shoes stories. I was truthful and said I was burned out, but had several stories started. Tommy isn’t dead yet.
I explained that I haven’t made much money, but it pleases me when people read what I write. I told her most people say the mysteries are page turners. I did have one complaint about The Walls. They said it was too slow. Compared to the multiple short stories, it would be. The short stories have the entire tale shared within 20 pages or so, versus 200.
I have several readers who read the books before I have them published to look for weak areas, misspellings, or things that aren’t clear. One reader of Addie said, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.” I think it is one of my better writings. Now, all I need is an agent to promote my books so I won’t have to blow my own horn.

Have You Ever

 Have You Ever

I saw a questionnaire my niece Jennifer Potosky added to Facebook. It was a challenge of sorts. I had nothing else in mind to write about and thought answering the questions posted would make a great share in my BlogSpot. It would tie together several stories I’ve already shared earlier.

The first question was, “Have you broken a bone?” Only one, my little toe, I’d been outside shoveling snow. Coming came inside, my fogged glasses caused me to misjudge a doorway, and I caught my little toe. A bit of tape solved the problem.

Did I ever fire a gun? Yes, I hunt and I have and shot some target practice, although not as much as my brother Ken.

Have I ever done skydiving…no, nor will I ever bungee jump. Until I turned 50, heights never bothered me. I had several episodes of an off-balance feeling. Now climbing onto the roof of my house is enough.

I’ve ridden in a limo, swam in the ocean, and gotten a massage, but I’ve never gotten a tattoo, had braces, or given birth. I’ve ridden a horse, ridden a train, and got a speeding ticket. I’ve watched Star Wars, eaten sushi, and dyed my hair. Let me explain the last item. When an accident victim was spitting blood over everything and everyone, I unwittingly used peroxide to clean the clots from my hair.

I haven’t scuba dived, but as a fireman wearing masks and air tanks were uncomfortable. I’ve been camping and shared many stories about our church’s tenting trip out west.

I will admit, I’ve eaten some food that’s fallen to the floor at home. The cat wouldn’t so I had to. I’ve once zip lined and have swung on ropes jumping into a creek’s swimming hole. That’s where I’ve skinny dipped with other kids after a baseball game when hot and tired.

Have I ever traveled out of country? While in the US Navy I was stationed in Iceland. Later in life I traveled into Canada as far north as Nain, Labrador. I’ve ridden in ambulances caring for a person inside and being cared for.

This question makes me laugh. Have you ever been on television? Yes. I dressed as Col. Sanders at a Pittsburgh Pirate game. White jacket, pants, shirt, fedora, and a black bowtie, I was in full regalia. Root sports television did some shots of me and I was on the Jumbotron.

Lastly, I’ve been on a cruise in Canada and have fished off Cape Canaveral in Florida. The only thing that has been pierced was my arm. As a kid, my brother tossed an ice pick off my parent’s house roof. What have you ever?

Noses

 Noses

I was watching one of the wilderness television programs from the Arctic and the captioning for the different characters would display across the television screen the locations of their homes, Kiwalik, Eagle, Huslia, Brushkana, Nenana, etc. But it also gave reference of their homes to the Arctic Circle, So many miles above or below the Circle. It caused me to think of the year that I was stationed in Keflavik, Iceland as a corpsman in the Naval Hospital there.

Keflavik is located 63.9998 degrees north and 22.5583 degrees west between the North Atlantic Ocean and the Norwegian Sea. The currant of the Gulf Stream wends its way north becoming the North Atlantic Current. Because of this anomaly Iceland is much warmer than its location or name would suggest. Winter’s average temperature is 32 degrees Fahrenheit and summer’s average 55 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit in southern Iceland.

I know someone is asking by now where the “Nose” title comes into the story. No, the people of Iceland are not Eskimo and don’t rub noses, but travelers who cross the Arctic Circle above the northernmost part of the island can earn the title of “blue nose” in the Navy. I’m not sure if the same holds true to the other branches of the military.

I was blessed enough to have been friends with a doctor who wanted to log flight hours to earn his commercial pilot’s license. Several other corpsmen and I wanted to see more of Iceland and the doctor was willing to fly us for free if we paid for the plane’s rental costs. It was a small plane and if I remember correctly, it carried 4 people, 3 passengers and the pilot. We puddle jumped to many places on the island flying over huge waterfalls and glaciers. To the south we flew to the volcanic island of Surtsey. The doctor even enticed us to fly with him to Akueryi at the northern tip of Iceland so we could win a “Blue Nose” certificate. He flew over the island of Grimsey deciding not to attempt a landing because of the huge number of birds. One hit from a bird in a light plane and we’d all have been swimming in the frigid waters of the Greenland Sea.

Our return to Keflavik was a bit scary. Clouds rolled in thick and low. It limited the doctor’s ability of visual flight. The doctor was learning still the controls each time he flew. Several times we flew low enough to follow a road below us. He knew we were heading south and knew the road would eventually lead us to habitation. We made it back safely, but politely refused to fly to Scotland when he suggested that.

Rooster Tales and Other Roadway Hazards

 Rooster Tales and Other Roadway Hazards

Over my lifetime I’ve had several unusual occurrences while driving between Mill Run and Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania. The last one happened over a year ago, not that a flat tire is an unusual event, but let me explain. I’d spent the day frying sausage at the Buckwheat and Sausage Festival for the Ohiopyle Volunteer Fire Department. All I wanted was to get off my feet and relax. Not long after I left the parking lot I began to feel the beginning of a flat. I was praying that I could make it through the less populated areas to Mill Run. It wasn’t to be. As I crossed the bridge below Falling Waters I felt it go completely flat. Bear Run Church and school house was next with a parking lot and a light to see what I was doing. I pulled in so the light shined on the flat. I managed to get the car jacked up, but due to a shoulder injury, I wasn’t able to loosen the wheel nuts. Just then a man in uniform (I assume he was a guard for the Conservancy) pulled in to see what I was doing. When I explained that I had a flat, he generously offered his assistance. I was so tired and so thankful.

One incident happened as I drove to the Buckwheat Festival years before. Crossing the crest of a hill there was a fawn standing in the middle of the highway. My eyes were focused on it and I missed seeing another fawn’s corpse on the road. I ran over it with a thump.

Another time I was driving to the Buckwheat festival, a rusted muffler had fallen from another car. It was in my lane. I was too close. Instead of swerving to miss it and possibly lose control of my car I straddled it. Of course it hung up on the underside of my car. The loud grating sparked brightly in the predawn darkness. I slowed planning to stop and it rolled loose as I pulled onto the berm.

I wasn’t heading to Ohiopyle, but I was visiting my brother-in-law David Morrison. As we were leaving his driveway that sloped upward it put us at eyelevel with the roadway, we heard a grating sound and waited to see what was coming. A car whizzed past with its “muffler” dragging. A huge rooster tail of sparks shot out the back. When it passed gasoline fumes flooded our car. It was the guy’s gas tank. David said, “Do you think we should follow him and let him know.” 

I said, “He knows something’s dragging and I don’t want to be anywhere near him if it blows.”

I Remember

 I Remember…

As I grew up there was a television program I Remember Mama. I can’t remember many of the episodes, but I can recall that they all centered on their Scandinavian family; day to day problems, familial love, and their integration into the American community. Black and white images still flicker across my brain, mostly still shots of their faces.

My memories of Christmas’s past do much of the same only in color. Cousins by the dozens would gather at my grandparent Ray and Rebecca Rugg Miner’s large rambling farm house in Indian Head, Pennsylvania. The din and the laughter emerge from the cobwebs of my brain. Cookies of all kinds were toted in by my aunts for the occasion. My grandmother always made popcorn balls and would sometimes put the meats of butternuts in some of the syrup covered popcorn.

My grandfather, Ray was a short statured quiet man. A smile rarely left his face when he was surrounded by his raucous progeny. Now that I’ve aged, I understand that feeling. There are people who will not be here for Christmas again this year claimed either by distance or death. That saddens me, but there is still love that the Christmas season brings and eases those feelings.

My grandmother Rebecca Rugg Miner was always busy. If she wasn’t cooking or baking, she was directing the aunts what to do or where to place the food. If she ran out of those, she shooed kids from under her feet. She was a larger framed person who had very few gray hairs until later in life.

Christmas at my grandparents’ Beck was more subdued. We went to their home in single family groups. As strict Pentecostals there was less decorating and less laughter, but the memories are still just as tender. The hardest thing was sitting on their old excelsior filled couch and chairs. The upholstery was scratchy and the seats were hard. It was difficult to sit while the adults talked without squirming. Usually, there were gifts for us, socks, a few dollars in a card, and maybe a piece of fruit.

When I married and began celebrating Christmas in my own home. My wife Cindy Morrison Beck and I tried to create memories for our own kids.  She was “worse” than I was at Christmas. We would be up late, wrapping gifts and putting them under the tree. It didn't matter what time it was that we went to bed, she would be awake at 5 a.m. or earlier and make noise until our kids would waken.

Cindy wouldn’t snoop… until the gift was wrapped. I could have placed a bag of unwrapped gifts on her side of the bed and they would be undisturbed until they were wrapped. She would make excursions to the tree to poke and prod, trying to find what she got for Christmas. It became my mission each year to disguise her gifts and make some challenges for her. I would wrap her panties around a cheap package of combs; hide jewelry in a Pringles can, or other unusual ways of camouflage.

The panties became a traditional gift for her. Struggling as most families do when first married, she walked by me, one side of her underwear came loose from the elastic and drooped. “I said, “You need to buy some new underwear.” She replied they were still okay to wear around the house. When she walked by me again, I grabbed the droop and finished ripping the material from the waistband. She said, “Now, you have to buy panties for me,” and so it became a Christmas tradition, underwear for her.

A ring I hid in the Pringles can came in a Lucite box. With her shaking, it came loose and rattled. Because of the gifts I disguised to stump her snooping, Cindy thought it was one of the kid games with the Bee Bees to shift into the holes of a picture. She tossed it back under the tree. It remained untouched until Christmas Day. It was the last gift she opened. Her eyes brightened, a smile spread across her face, and she mouthed, “Is it real?”

I guess that because the ring was real, Christmas and our love became more than real as well.