Oops

We kids were shopping with our mom, Sybil Miner Beck at a grocery store, walking along side of the shopping cart. We’d occasionally ask for something we’d see like all kids do. Kathy, my younger sister was reading the products as she walked along; “Toothpaste, Kleenex…” she paused and then asked, “Mom, what are tampoons?”

My mom stopped, leaned over, and hissed into her ear, “S-h-h-h, I’ll tell you later.”

While finishing our shopping, Kathy was quiet. She’d stopped reading products and seemed to be thinking saying nothing more. Mom paid for the groceries and pushed the cart to our car. We helped to unload the cart, then climb into the car to drive home.

Mom had barely exited the parking lot when Kathy asked, “Mom, what are tampoons?”

Mom’s answer was the same, “Kathy, not now, I said I would tell you later.”

I never knew what mom told Kathy later, but I am sure that later Kathy reminded Mom to tell her what tampoons were.

My first child Amanda went through a stage where she became a vacuum cleaner picking up anything that was on the floor; lint, a piece of thread, a bit of paper. She’d carry whatever she found and give it to the nearest adult. She was toddling around in her diaper looking for things to collect.

Most of us had gotten into the habit of holding out our hand and take it without looking.  One day when we were at my parent’s house, Amanda had been picking up things and giving them to Kathy. For some reason she’d singled Kathy as the recipient of her gifts.

Amanda walked over to Kathy and offered her find for Kathy. Kathy was talking and instinctively held out her hand. When Amanda deposited her “treasure”, Kathy thought it felt heavier than things that Amanda had been finding.

Kathy stopped talking and looked in her hand. It was a turd. The bowel movement must have fallen out of Amanda’s diaper. She picked it up, carried it across the room, and handed it to Aunt Kathy.

Since then, Kathy always looks before she accepts anything from a kid.

The next story again involved my daughter Amanda. She was a bit older and we were at my parent’s house for lunch. Amanda was carrying around her small purse. She opened it and took out a little white tube and was rubbing it across her lips.

My wife Cindy being curious asked, “What do you have Amanda?”

“Iptick.” (Lipstick.)

My wife said, “Thank goodness she didn’t take that out in church.” The “Ip-tick” was a tampon in a plastic holder.