Thoughts on Death and Dying

For many people the thought of death is unwelcome and even frightening, but death is a part of life. Birth marks the beginning and death is the period at the end. I was rarely touched with thoughts of death during my youth. Probably my first was the death of a pet. I’d see it not moving and my dad would bury it in the back yard. After several days of intermittent tears I’d go back to being a child.

My next remembrance of death was the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I was in junior high when the announcement filled the television and newspapers, but his death although earth-shattering was held at arms’ length, by my youth and by its distance.

While I was a naval corpsman in Iceland my grandfather Raymond Miner passed away. It was definitely a difficult position for me. Time, distance, and finances made it impossible to arrive home in time for the funeral and I was unable to be with family during this time.

The next person’s death that impacted me was my grandfather Edson Beck. He was gravely ill in the hospital. I decided to visit after work. I knew he was dying and chose to sit with him waiting for my dad, Carl Beck to arrive. When I didn’t arrive home on time mom Sybil called me. I told her that if my dad wanted to see his father while he was still alive, he needed to come right away. He didn’t because his brother told him a nurse said Granddad was okay. My mom and sister came to relieve me while I left for home. Dad never got to visit before his dad died.

My wife Cindy passed away 19 years ago with ovarian cancer. She was symptomless except for a progressive cough and wheeze. I forced her to go to the hospital, ten days later she died. I wasn’t at her bedside because each time the kids went into her room they would say “C’mon Mom you can make it.” It tore me apart. I knew that she wouldn’t recover. I took them home to sleep and get away from the tension.

The next year Cindy’s mom Retha Morrison passed away with cancer of the white blood cells. Two deaths so close together was difficult. On the third anniversary of Cindy’s death, my mom Sybil passed away. Their deaths were in the month of March and my family now tries to avoid any major decisions in March.

I continue to age and I think about my death. I don’t fear death at all I only pray it’s not painful. I know that I am saved and know where I will spend eternity. Do you?