Mattress Matters

Man has been a creature of comfort. They sought shelter from the rain and wind and storms. They made beds of grass and leaves to insulate themselves from the damp, cold, moist ground. Trappers soon used evergreen boughs covered with animal skins to earn a more restful night of sleep. Farmers used large sack ticks filled with corn husks or straw to soften the slats or taut ropes of then bed frames. Pads and pillows of feathers and silk were a luxury.

My mattress that I have right now isn’t as old as that or as crude. Inventors learned to turn steel into something of comfort by creating twists of metal into springs and cover them with all sorts of padding. The old mattresses had two sides and needed turned and flipped regularly to prevent sags and divots of discomfort. About twenty years ago, the mattress my wife Cindy and I were using had gone past its prime. Areas of sagging and places where the springs began to chew their way to the surface had made their appearance. Cindy and her mom Retha Morrison decided they should shop for a new mattress. Because of my schedule, I couldn’t (and didn’t choose to accompany them) on their quest. This mattress as only one sided, which was and still is the trend. After its arrival, Cindy only slept on it once, maybe twice. Her “upper respiratory tract infection” didn’t allow her to lay flat. Only later did we know she had developed ovarian cancer that had engulfed her entire body.

This is the mattress that I am currently using, but a queen mattress with only one person sleeping in it took longer to become uncomfortable after conforming to my shape over the intervening years. I would flip the mattress regularly to lessen my impact on it, but alas, it has finally came to the end of its comfort and use and it necessitated the purchase of a new one. It is to come on Friday and I can hardly wait. In anticipation, I purchased new sheets from Mike Lindell, creator of “My Pillow.” There was buy one set and get one set free. They were still more expensive than Wal-Mart brands, but I decided to support this Conservative as the Liberal world tries to silence him and put hundreds of workers out of employment. Both sets are green in color. The Giza sheets are in sage green and the flannel set looks to be hunter green. Both sets are wrapped in their clear plastic containers, awaiting the arrival of the mattress. I do have one question for Mr. Lindell. How do you fold the fitted sheets so flat?