Conflict of Wills

Two of our emergency department doctors were at odds with each other. Each doctor had issues with the other physician’s appearance. Dr. Vandyk dressed sloppily and drove a Volkswagen bus while Dr. Sikova was a more dapper dresser, with a long pony tail and drove a Corvette. Dr. Sikova complained about Dr Vandyk’s disheveled clothes, often covered in dog hair and Dr. Vandyk complained about Dr. Sikova’s pony tail. They didn’t hate each other, their personalities just clashed; old school versus the new school.

One night Dr. Vandyk was on duty in the emergency room when we received an ambulance call. They were bringing in a male patient involved in a motor vehicle accident. The patient had not lost consciousness, but had a laceration to the back of his head. When the male victim arrived, it was none other than Dr. Sikova. The laceration precariously bordered on the doorstep of the doctor’s prized pony tail.

Dr. Vandyk ordered skull and cervical spine x-rays to rule out fractures, before he began treatment. When the films cleared him of any breaks, the nurses opened a suture tray and made the area ready for Dr. Vandyk to sew the laceration shut.

But before the nurses could clean and prep the area to be stitched, Dr. Vandyk snatched a pair of bandage scissors and claimed his trophy. A young Apache warrior holding up his first scalp taken in battle would have been no less proud. Dr. Sikova’s pony tail was no more.

After we cleaned and prepped the area, Dr. Vandyk stitched the wound’s edges back together. We applied a dressing to the wound.

Not only was Dr. Sikova lamenting the loss of his beloved Corvette, but now he was also grieving over the loss of his pony tail.