If You Build It They Will Come

 If You Build It They Will Come
My daughters Amanda Yoder and Anna Prinkey are using a wooden pallet, pieces of cardboard, and furring strips to construct a fake privy. Amanda volunteered to create a replica of an outhouse for her daughter Hannah’s school. The school needed one for the Halloween float and for a school play. My basement has been the design area, laboratory, and construction site for the portable potty. Screws and staples attach the wood and cardboard. Spray paint and magic markers are being used to simulate the weathered wood of the outside toilet. I almost got a high from the fumes, but I guess it is better than if the latrine was in use and stinking. The project is about eighty percent done with only the way for the toilet door to be securely closed. A fold in a long cardboard piece made the door’s hinge. Surgery using a box-cutter made the half-moon design and v-shaped notch ventillation spot at the top of the door. I’m not sure how Amanda is planning to transport this monstrous seven foot tall privy to the school. Maybe she can convince her brother-in-law James Prinkey to haul it in his truck, if not, you may see a Subaru driving along the highway with an outhouse being sticking out of the rear end.
Before indoor plumbing came into vogue, the outdoor privy was a home’s necessity. The wooden building was constructed to give privacy to the user. The slender shed was built to cover a deep hole in the ground and for the safety of the user. Every home had one, city dweller or out in the country. If the privy was in the city where there was no land to excavate a new hole or if it constructed of more permanent material, the cess pool would have to be emptied by “honey-dippers.” Honey-dippers were men who would for a fee, empty the waste products and dispose of it.
Spinder, flies, bees, and other insects found the outhouse a perfect place to set up residency, which made the trip to the toilet scary. The stink even masked by lime was unpleasant. Weather was another factor to consider, the heat of the summer increased the smell and activity of the insects and the winter chill on bare flesh could end up with frostbitten bottoms. Toilet paper was non-existent and corn cobs or catalogs were put into another use.
There may be one more evening of work at the construction site before the travelling toilet makes its maiden voyage to Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania.