What’s Up Doc

Again, it was that dreaded time in my life where I would suffer through vile and fearsome prep for a colonoscopy. Because my gastroenterologist found several polyps on a past scope, I was being scheduled for the penetration every year. The colonoscopy procedure itself isn’t bad. The anesthesiologist will sedate me into a twilight sleep. It is the PREP that is the most torturous part of the deal. I don’t believe water boarding is not much worse than this.

The marathon started on the day preceding the test with only clear liquids all day, then the prep.

There are two types of preps and I’ve had them both. The first option is the Go-Lytely prep. The pharmacy issues a gallon jug with a grainy powder inside. Instructions advise to fill it with water, drink all of it. Bon Appetite. The flavor is strangely reminiscent of very salty lemonade with an extremely weird aftertaste. Instructions tell you how much to drink, when, and what to drink with it. Many people, including me, get nauseated with the bloated feeling before the jug is empty. That may mean that there is debris left behind in the colon. Finding that surprise doesn’t make the gastro doctor very happy, it means extra work for him and the nurses. Or the patient isn’t happy when the test and the prep has to be rescheduled.

The second option for the prep is called SUPREP. The appearance is less daunting. The box contains two innocuous looking 6 bottles and an empty cup. Instructions say to empty one bottle into the cup, add 10 ounces of cool water, then drink it, to be followed by two more of 16 ounce glasses of water. The SUPREP has a salty cough syrup flavor, not one to be savored. The encounter with the bottle starts at eight PM the day before. This encourages one’s bowels to move. I already had diarrhea and no encouragement was needed. I reigned from the throne most of the night. My second encounter with the infamous bottles was at 4 AM, four hours before my test. Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep.

The doctor found another polyp, so the annual pilgrimage will continue. I will have a reminder of this test for several days. The first poke for the I.V. blew and a hematoma developed. The bruise is quite noticeable. Safe at home for now, butt I’ll be back in a year.