Twist and Shout

In my lifetime I’ve ridden and driven along roads that twisted and turned as the highways climbed or descended hills. Some were local and others throughout other places in America. Riding the school bus through high school I travelled steep Route 711. It was also called the Springfield Pike. Wintertime was always a challenge when it was ice and snow covered. Sometimes the Pike was covered in a heavy fog. One foggy evening my dad Carl Beck said, “If it wasn’t for the soda cans tossed out, we wouldn’t be able to see to get home.” One night actually I had t stick my head out of the side window, shine a flashlight down, and tell my dad to steer left or right.

Ore Mine Hill is also near my home. It was so winding my dad said he believed they paved it following a snake. It almost seemed the road was tracked the path of a serpent.

Kreinbrook Hill Road is very near. When a college classmate friend of my daughter Anna Prinkey visited, I drove them into Mt. Pleasant. She was from the flatlands near York, Pennsylvania. The descent was more than she could handle and she felt ill. I had to drive more slowly.

An extremely twisted road was going from Tennessee to Virginia. We were attending the World’s Fair in Knoxville and driving to Virginia Beach. Many of the turns were horseshoe shaped. The most remarkable thing I saw was there were mobile homes all along the road. I still wonder how they got there. The curves made us ill by the time we reached the top. “Whew, we made it,” I thought, then my stomach lurched…we had to go down the other side too.

A friend and I drove to visit our friends in North Carolina we got off the beaten track in West Virginia. Of course the road twisted as we climbed through the mountains. It was late in the evening, raining, and the combination of darkness and wet highway made the trip more difficult.

My travelling companion and I have difficulty with heights. Her problem came from an auto accident with head injuries. My uneasiness developed after having two episodes of disequilibrium. I wasn’t dizzy, but felt unbalanced. We were again driving back from our friends in North Carolina. She was in the driver’s seat and because the Blue Ridge Parkway was close, she wanted to see a waterfall along the way. We started and the beautiful vistas that opened up were soon swallowed by the near panic feelings we had and had to take the nearest exit missing the visit to the falls.

Just for Kicks Politics

Not too long ago I heard people complain about the number of political advertisements, polls, and telephone calls. Candidates seemed to crawl out from the woodwork. I expected folks to complain about the potential onslaught of more ads as the general elections and presidential elections drew nearer. The anticipated distaste of hearing political promises and mudslinging was beginning to draw supporters from both parties into pre-election insults about the other party.

But then something unforeseen occurred, the Corona virus. The news releases swallowed every other aspect of the media’s reporting. Each agency grasped at the smallest tidbit and trumpeted it as truth, even if they had to twist facts to give a new outlook on an old falsehood or fact. Reporters continued to ask the very same biased questions hoping that they could wring out something new or catch someone in a controversial or contrariwise statement. Often they cut and patched official statements until they said something completely out of context.

What I wanted to highlight is now all of the ads are trying to soothe the impact of the virus, either the real devastation or panic that the virus has engendered. The general theme of each ad seems to be “We’re in this together” or “Although we’re alone, we’re together.” Is it just me or does it seem they are saying settle into the “New normal” and accept the herd mentality? Do they believe that all the good things America stands for has come to naught and American workers will never shake off the fear and dread that has allowed the government to compel many to stay huddles at home. So many conflicting reports only confuse and frustrate people while watching their families go hungry and their livees slip away.

It seems these sympathetic advertisements try to assuage and mitigate the loss of freedom and business, but to me it only enhances the fears introduced by less than honest reporting. It was easy for federal, state, and local politicians to have subtly wrested Constitutional freedoms away by scaring citizens into submission. It’s caused many to look to the same government which has stolen the liberty to solve all our problems. It seems to be setting the stage for accepting a one world government.

Proposals to inoculate and to mark either by chip or by data carrying permanent metal bracelets of each person are already circulating. If a person can’t prove that they’ve received the vaccination or the chip, they will not be permitted to travel, arrested, and sent to holding facilities until they comply.

All in all, political ads don’t seem so bad after all.

Whatever Happened?

What happened to a child’s universe being its home, then expanding into the surrounding community, local schools, and churches? What has happened when the parents relinquish their skills of raising and controlling the child and reduced the influence of the home? A change occurred, and not for the better. Larger schools and school boards that are no longer community based have replaced the one room school houses and built mega-structures that herd our children through their lessons, paying more attention on indoctrination than to education.

A child’s universe was once very isolated and close to home. Children’s morals were learned in the home taught by family, clergy, teachers, and neighbors. That reflected a time when we knew our neighbors, we chose our teachers, and we decided on which church to attend. Then world expanded as a child aged, but they had a solid foundation upon which to stand and raise their own families.

Things have changed. More and more worldly influences have become the base of morals and examples for them to follow. Single parent homes have become the norm. A child’s life’s now are pulled into a much larger world, first by the radio. Then it was by television, computers, smart phones, and the internet. Our children’s examples for morality have become decidedly much worldlier.

Increasingly, those teaching our children lead them astray into secular views. The taint of following progressive liberal views is that there’s no set absolutes, no anchors to which children may cling, and no boundaries set. Kids are advised to “follow their hearts.” There’s no longer anything right or wrong; everything’s relative. People paraded before our children are presented as icons and heroes, but many only promote casual sex, drugs, and violence without the child seeing the outcome.

I understand it’s necessary for children to escape the limitations of a one room schoolhouse to keep abreast of technology, but as parents we cannot abandon our children’s innocence to be slain on the altar of the world. Children in the past have learned much more with the smaller classes. Latin, Greek, math, and yes, even the Bible were taught. There wasn’t time or need to teach how to place a condom on a banana. It was the families who selected the curriculum and teachers, not a government imposed choice of text books or new methods like teaching the burdensome and confusing path of “common core math.”

On top of that, the government steals the same money they give schools to educate our children by forcing the schools to follow “regulations,” keep records, and show compliance. When our children lose a solid local foundation, they’re compelled to adopt a more worldly view.

Fact, Fake, Fantasyland

Whether it’s fact, fiction, or a mixture of both this quarantine from the Covid19 virus is wreaking havoc and devastation on nearly every person in the United States other than the paid politicians. They’re still drawing a salary, paid from our taxes and imposing their will on us. Many Americans will lose their homes and face financial ruin. Small businesses are failing and can’t get bailout loans…unless they’ve already obtained a loan from that bank. Many businesses never took a loan and aren’t eligible. I’m just going to share some sarcastic remarks to lighten this heavy post.

Beauty salons may curl up and dye. Barber shops will feel cut off and have to shave their expenses. Carpenters are cutting corners and feel nailed to the wall. Electricians are shocked at their lost charges. Manicurists feel rebuffed and know that they’re being clipped. Plumbers are feeling drained and hose piped. How about the jeweler who’s chained with bailout promises and left with an empty ring? Bars left with mixed thinks and feel all tapped out. Liquor stores having bad spirits and whine because of lost revenues. Cruise lines starting to go under, awash with debt having no smooth sailing and risk sinking. Then there are florists who can no longer branch out because they’ve been nipped in the bud?  How about boot shops that are told to heel and can’t march on. Athletic stores who can no longer run and are now not good sports. What about print shops that are being discarded, then having their shirts ripped off their backs? Restaurants feel their goose is cooked and can’t take off with only take out; their servers are out of work and waiting around. Farmers can’t reap what they sow and many are straying far afield.

Then there are craft shops told not to sell material things, masked by intrusive rules. What about strip joints that can no longer bare the government’s song and dance; casinos that can’t spin the wheel of chance, their other games only shoot craps. Taylors seam to be just sew-sew and having fits. Sports teams; football’s fumbling, baseball’s striking out, hockey’s left holding the short end of the stick, wrestling’s taken to the mat while on hold, boxing’s acting punchy round after round, race drivers are no longer on track, and soccer teams getting kicked in the seat of their pants.

Tanning salons are seeing the light but are still turning pale. Cycle shops are barely keeping their wheels spinning and may have to peddle their wares elsewhere. Airlines may crash with their wings clipped. But bankers are gathering interest. Abortion clinics are still making a killing. Toilet paper manufacturers are on a roll and bringing up the rear and politicians are still living off tax payers’ dollars.

Honey Bun Anyone?

A physician would often have his office patients report to the emergency department for testing that he thought needed to be done. Without any inconvenience to him, he could extend office hours by using the emergency room staff. We’d make a chart for each patient, do their assessments, disrobe them, gown them, and take the patient’s vital signs. Once the person was settled in one of the beds we’d call the doctor for orders. When he thought the results would be back he’d stroll over to see the patients. Usually we’d have two or three beds tied up for just his clients until he finished

rounding and came to see them.

Eventually he got tired of answering our telephone calls as each patient would arrive. He knew how many patients he’d advised to come to the hospital and he’d wait until he thought that they had all arrived before he would return our calls. We’d then have fill out the needed requisitions for tests and wait for the results to come back. All the while our beds were being tied up with his patients limiting beds for true emergencies. Once the all of results were back, we’d again page him and he’d eventually decide to see his patients.

We’d heard through the grapevine each morning he liked to grab a cup of coffee and talk with the radiologists before he visited his in-patients, so we started to call x-ray to see if they could prod him into answering our pages.

This worked for awhile until one day someone called the radiology department and asked if the doctor was there. Apparently he’d told the technicians and the secretaries not to interrupt him or tell us whether he was in the hospital or not. He obviously didn’t want bothered until he was ready. He was married but it was also rumored that he had a girlfriend who worked in the radiology department as well.

It was a very busy morning and had four of his patients filling our beds. The emergency department only had a total of eight beds at the time. We were trying to work around his patients and take care of those arriving for emergency treatment. The limited number of beds hampered us and made our jobs so much more difficult. Of course this was one of the days he refused to answer his pages.

I got frustrated at his lack of concern and felt the devil crawl out of me and climb up onto my shoulder. I snatched the telephone and dialed x-ray.

“This was the x-ray department. How may I help you?” a female voice demurely chimed.

I said, “This is Tom from the emergency room. Would doctor Malden happen to be there enjoying a cup of coffee and a honey bun?”

Now a honey bun could have been one of those sweet, sticky, swirled pastries or….?  Well you get the idea.

I heard a small gasp on the other end of the phone and then a soft chuckle before the super sweet voice said, “Hold on, I’ll check for you.”

Dr. Malden returned my call shortly thereafter. I don’t know if she ever told the doctor or the honey bun what I’d said, but when I called the x-ray department from then on, someone would always check to see if he was there. I guess my “innocent” comment had at least gotten passed along to fellow employees.

Post Wedding High Jinks

I am not sure what else to call the post wedding harassment of the newly wedded couple’s vehicle and or their luggage. It’s been a long standing tradition to hang cans, shoes, and other noise making items to the back bumper of the nuptial’s car with a sign of “just married” to announce the newlywed couple to the world. Sometimes the prank may be to completely fill the “escape” vehicle with dozens of balloons or thousands of Styrofoam peanuts. There have been other incidents when wrapping the car with cellophane or toilet paper by jokesters. The wrapped vehicle greeted the bride and groom as they left the wedding or the reception and barred a swift departure. (I imagine the Corona virus has limited the number of weddings ceremonies and the amount of toilet paper they use.)

Other tricks well-wishing tricksters used would be to stick a note inside of the gas cap cover saying, “Wish us well. Just married.” The attendant would greet them and the confused couple would often wander around their car to see if they’d missed removing any “decorations.”

I’ve heard of jokesters smearing limburger cheese on the manifold of the engine, sliding an opened can of sardines beneath one of the seats, or hiding several shrimp inside of the hubcaps to rot and smell.

Two rather large families in my area became involved in the “one upmanship” of tricks; where brothers, cousins, sisters married people from the other family. These pranks became more involved and sometimes more intense. The original small stunts escalated. No longer would hiding sardines or smearing limburger cheese would suffice.

After the act of crushing shredded wheat and spreading the crumbs in the suitcases of honeymoon clothing, the pranks and pranksters were kicked into high gear. The last escapade that I heard was for a wedded couple who had plans to celebrate their honeymoon in Florida. After they arrived at their hotel and opened their suitcases for a change of clothing, they found that someone had substituted their swimwear, sandals, and shorts for sweaters, coats, and mukluks. It was necessary for them to go shopping for a change of clothes while they waited for their parents to make an overnight shipment of climate appropriate clothing.

Many couples I know who have recently been married or are planning a wedding now include a trusted family member who keeps their luggage under lock and key until their escape to their honeymoon destination.

A Good Sport

My brother Ken is an avid sportsman. He has always enjoyed golf, baseball, hunting, or almost anything that occurs out of doors. When he played golf on his downtime as a caddy, he would come in one or two strokes either behind or in front of the course’s golf professional.

In hunting, only the seasons change as to what game he was hunting and the weapon he used not the desire to hunt; bow and arrow, rifle, or shotgun. He enjoys fishing as well, but not as much as hunting. He went out West to hunt elk one year, riding a horse into the mountains on the tour. He helped the guides setting up camp.

When he played baseball, he played in a local league for young men. The league played their games on Sunday afternoons. If we wanted to know if he had a game that Sunday, we’d tease by saying, “Are you going to the church of the swinging bat today?”

He often got roped into being an umpire at his son’s little league games. Ken didn’t like when coaches verbally abused their charges and at the beginning of each game he told them, “I’m giving you two warnings about cussing at the kids before I toss you out…and this is the first.”

He was attracted to fast cars, motorcycles, and A.T.V.s. They were a past passion in his life although the A.T.V. is an integral part of his hunting now.

I think his two favorite cars were a pale yellow mustang, his first car and a 1976 Dodge Demon that was black with white stripes painted across the hood, roof, and trunk. I always thought it looked like a skunk. Ken tricked and souped it up for speed and took it to the drag races to compete. There was a large air scoop that rose above the hood.

He’s slowed a bit since then and has just finished restoring a Jeep, painting it red. Red was our dad’s favorite color. It’s Ken’s baby and it stays up on blocks during the winter in the garage. His cars are a little less powerful than before, but he still likes to work on them.

The one thread that has wound through all of his other passions was to meet and date women, looking for that one special person that he loved as much as he did all of his other passions. My grandmother Miner had a favorite saying, “There’s never a pot too crooked that a lid won’t fit.”