Post Wedding High Jinks

I am not sure what else to call the post wedding harassment of the newly wedded couple’s vehicle and or their luggage. It’s been a long standing tradition to hang cans, shoes, and other noise making items to the back bumper of the nuptial’s car with a sign of “just married” to announce the newlywed couple to the world. Sometimes the prank may be to completely fill the “escape” vehicle with dozens of balloons or thousands of Styrofoam peanuts. There have been other incidents when wrapping the car with cellophane or toilet paper by jokesters. The wrapped vehicle greeted the bride and groom as they left the wedding or the reception and barred a swift departure. (I imagine the Corona virus has limited the number of weddings ceremonies and the amount of toilet paper they use.)

Other tricks well-wishing tricksters used would be to stick a note inside of the gas cap cover saying, “Wish us well. Just married.” The attendant would greet them and the confused couple would often wander around their car to see if they’d missed removing any “decorations.”

I’ve heard of jokesters smearing limburger cheese on the manifold of the engine, sliding an opened can of sardines beneath one of the seats, or hiding several shrimp inside of the hubcaps to rot and smell.

Two rather large families in my area became involved in the “one upmanship” of tricks; where brothers, cousins, sisters married people from the other family. These pranks became more involved and sometimes more intense. The original small stunts escalated. No longer would hiding sardines or smearing limburger cheese would suffice.

After the act of crushing shredded wheat and spreading the crumbs in the suitcases of honeymoon clothing, the pranks and pranksters were kicked into high gear. The last escapade that I heard was for a wedded couple who had plans to celebrate their honeymoon in Florida. After they arrived at their hotel and opened their suitcases for a change of clothing, they found that someone had substituted their swimwear, sandals, and shorts for sweaters, coats, and mukluks. It was necessary for them to go shopping for a change of clothes while they waited for their parents to make an overnight shipment of climate appropriate clothing.

Many couples I know who have recently been married or are planning a wedding now include a trusted family member who keeps their luggage under lock and key until their escape to their honeymoon destination.