I Don’t Want Her You Can Have Her

 I Don’t want Her You can Have her
Several years after my wife died, Mindy’s common-law-husband passed away. Mindy was a tall, full-figured, slovenly woman. Because of her frequent visits to the hospital, she knew my wife had passed away. When she’d see me, she’d say, “I heard your wife died. I am so sorry!” and I was given the customary bone crushing hug.
So when I found out that her common-law-husband died, I extended my condolences to her just as she’d done to me. Tears came into her eyes and she said, “I know you understand what I’m feeling, Tom” and gave me one of her bone crushing hugs. She was the same dirty person dressed in her usual Banlon shirt and double knit pants, but she was going through hard times. It was a tender moment. I wouldn’t allow squeamish feelings of being hugged to intrude.
After that wherever she met me, I was greeted with the same hug. I started to keep a sharp eye out for her, running the other way long before she came within arm’s reach. Sometimes she’d catch sight of me and call out. I’d only wave and do a ninety degree turn down a hallway to escape.
This worked for several months until one night I was in the main lobby waiting for the elevator. When the doors popped open… there she was… standing in front of me in all of her glory. I couldn’t avoid her without seeming grossly offensive and rude. I cringed inside knowing that the inevitable hug was coming. And it did. We talked for a few seconds before I made the escape. She waved to me as I walked past and into the elevator.
Later that evening, I tried to put my pen in my shirt pocket. It snagged on something. It was a folded piece of paper. On the slip was Mindy’s telephone number. “How did she get it there without me feeling it?” I thought, “She had to be planning this for some time.”
This was just too much for me not to share with someone else. I walked to the medical records department to see Bill, a nurse with whom I worked in the emergency department. He’d transferred to medical records when he got “burned out” in the emergency room.
He looked a lot like me and some patients got us confused when we still both worked in the emergency department. Mindy was one who was confused us. She’d sometimes call me Bill or call Bill by my name. That was okay with me. Maybe he’d get blamed for something I’d done.
When I showed him the note he said, “She’s all yours buddy, I’m already married.”