Sometimes You Get What You Ask For

I’ve been living alone for the most part of 19 years after my wife Cindy Morrison Beck passed away with ovarian cancer. I’ve shared before how this silent killer invaded and filled her entire body before any symptoms arose. When she actually developed symptoms of a severe upper respiratory infection I forced her to go to the hospital. Ten days later she was gone. It was a shock to our family and there are still repercussions from it.

Most times I can keep myself busy and the house doesn’t seem so empty, but for the past several months, loneliness has been a frequent visitor. It’s not that I’m depressed. My doctor asks each time I visit her if I’m depressed. It must be a required question they ask of the “elderly.” I find it strange that the government requires physicians to ask these questions, then it seems they try to kill them at every turn. Inflation has forced the elderly to choose food, medication, or the cost of heating their homes.

Enough of that rabbit trail, what I wanted to say was that I’ve been thinking more and more about sharing my life with someone else. I really don’t have anyone in mind, but that though is certainly there. I don’t go many places other than church to meet a woman. There are several lovely single women at our church, but they are more like friends. How do I broach the subject of possibly more? How do I overcome my baggage enough to carry some of hers?

Now you’ll probably think this is odd. I know that I do. I’ve been praying that I need a hug. Not a romantic hug, but an “I care” hug; a thank you hug, a hug from someone who wishes me well. I get hugs from my children and from my grandchildren. Those are nice, but from family they’re almost mandatory. I know that they love me even with all of my faults and that is a true blessing, but that’s different than an “I appreciate you” embrace.

Well my answer came. I was walking over to talk to a friend and as we drew closer, he hugged me and said “I appreciate all that you do.” It was so unforeseen and unexpected. I didn’t know how to respond. This brother In Christ had just answered my prayer.  It is remarkable that someone sees what you do and appreciates it. God is like that. He sees ALL that we do; holds us close, and says I love you. We just have to listen and look for His goodness.