An elderly man came to the emergency room complaining of abdominal cramping, pain, and constipation. The man’s complaints were confirmed by the doctor. The man was definitely constipated. Dr. Vandyk decided that it was time for someone to digitally manipulate and dislodge the impacted fecal blockage.
He came out from behind the cubicle’s curtain and walked into the nursing station saying, “Hand check.”
We looked at each other with a puzzled look in our eyes, but we held out our hands for him to inspect.
“You!” Dr. Vandyk called out, pointing with his pen. “You with the long fingernails, there’s an old man who needs assistance with his impaction.”
The nurse he picked out was a very prim and neat person. She had nails that were almost three quarter of an inch long. They were buffed and coated with several layers of clear fingernail polish. She was a nurse that dressed neatly and her make-up always perfect. With a sigh and a disgusted look, she disappeared behind the curtain to do her duty.
Later, she revealed she had doubled her exam gloves. She was afraid her nails might push through just one pair and that “just wouldn’t be good.” The patient left the emergency room happy, leaving behind several pounds of feces and one disgruntled nurse.
When she arrived at the hospital the next day, her nails were again impeccable, but they were only a quarter of an inch long. She had trimmed them.