Lost and Found

 

It seemed that Dr. Vandyk was a lightning rod for unusual visits to the emergency department. A couple came to the triage area with a unique story. They were in the midst of a sex act, playing “hiding the Maraschino cherries” when they lost count. She wanted checked to be sure one hadn’t gotten lost. She wanted to be absolutely sure.

She was taken back to the obstetrics/gynecology room, placed on the table, and into the stirrups to be examined. Dr. Vandyk sat on the stool, lubricated it, and  slipped the vaginal speculum inside of her. After a seek and destroy mission, it was decided that it was all was clear. The doctor retorted as he extracted the speculum and pulled off his gloves. “The next time, leave the stems on.”