Cultivating Friendships
I’ve met a lot of people in my seventy-four years of living. Many were workmates, clients, or school chums, but certain people have become as close as family. What makes the difference? Sometimes it’s little more than knowing them for a long time. The length of contact reveals similarities or exposes differences. I’ve often had differences of opinion with my wife, her mom, and other friends, but the past them. That will often mean you don’t agree with their ideas, but it still allows for discussion without anger.
I a few very close friends, two of them are women. One is a workmate. That friendship developed over quite a number of years. A few years after traveling for work, she settled back into this area and our friendship grew stronger. We go to the same church and I’ve helped her can vegetables from her garden for several years. Her daughter says we fight like brother and sister, not like friends. She’s had a number of setbacks in her life, but she’s survived and I’m thankful for that. I’d miss her friendship terribly if she weren’t here.
Another friend is also female and I’ve known her for almost as long or possibly longer. She’s had a lot of trauma in her life as well. Multiple accidents has caused her to have the need a service animal. Sometimes I become her service dog. When she doesn’t want to take her dog along, I get promoted to that position. We’ve gone on several vacations, sharing the costs and conversations as we travel. A few vacations were to North Carolina and along the four borders of Pennsylvania. We’ve been to West Virginia and flew to California to visit an elderly aunt. This friend also goes to my church.
My last group of friends are my old schoolmates. Several of us gather once a month to eat lunch, talk about old times, or talk about what’s happening in our lives now. It’s a pleasant time to reminisce and to keep connections to those old friendships. They aren’t as close as the others the day to day interactions aren’t there, but I consider them my friends.
I try to be friendly even at Wal-Mart, where people often block aisles with their carts becoming immovable statues as they search for products on the shelves. I will often ask little old ladies if they need me to reach for things on the top shelf. It usually earns smile. I’ll often offer Gospel tracts and my business cards just to talk with folks. With an empty house, it’s nice to chat with someone else. Who knows, I might find a new friend.