Covering Your Butt
This morning I was reminded of a story my brother Kenneth Beck told me about a hunting buddy. I was wearing a shirt with a longer tail and as I sat on the commode, I almost forgot to tuck it in. That would have been a huge mistake and an even larger mess. That simple act took me back to the time Ken shared his tale.
He and his buddy were hunting during deer season. His friend had a brand new one-piece hunting outfit with a hood. Like many hunters, the urge to purge came upon him and he dropped his drawers answering nature’s call. He was careful to unzip the suit and tuck everything out of the way before he fulfilled the adage of the bear in the woods. After completing the task, he scrubbed his hands in the snow, continuing on his was searching for some venison on the hoof. Occasionally his buddy would get the odor of what he had deposited and left behind earlier. Again and again his buddy would scrub his hands in the snow and in any stream of water he approached, and still the odor remained.
At the end of the hunting day, he met my brother at their vehicle. His buddy was removing the one-piece hunting suit and to his surprise and dismay, his deposit was residing in the hood and had been following him around all day. In disgust, his buddy whipped out his hunting knife and cut off the hood instead of flicking out what he was able, then washing it at home.
Another hunting story involved my dad, Carl Beck. We were hunting at an old favorite spot. Dad arrived early…God forbid that we would arrive late for anything. He hiked along an old logging road through the woods to his favorite spot. As he crossed a knoll, he noticed a fluorescent orange color in his chosen spot to sit and watch for deer. Disgusted, he chose another spot nearby, keeping an eye on the orange “hunter.” After hours and the spot didn’t move, Dad decided to stroll closer. As he neared, he recognized it as a hat without a hunter beneath it. Inspecting the scene, some hunter used the hat in lieu of toilet tissue and tossed the hat and it was NOT the hood from my brother’s buddy.