March

Even though March is the month of my birth, it is a month that my family views with some trepidation and caution. No, it’s not because of me and my “being born” in that month, but because of several serious occurrences that have happened and have left sad and bitter feelings for us, forever marring that calendar month.

The first tragedy that fell during the month of March was the death of my wife Cindy. This month of March will mark the fifteenth anniversary of her passing. Fifteen years ago, what started out as a severe upper respiratory tract infection turned into an all consuming disease. The symptoms she presented pointed to, what Cindy called her “annual” gift to me of laryngitis, but this time with more intense wheezing and coughing. It was so pronounced, I thought she might have pneumonia and forced her to go to the emergency room. Her blood work pointed to something more. It showed a more severe reason for her shortness of breath. She was transferred to a larger hospital where she was diagnosed as having ovarian cancer, the silent killer. The cancer had spread to every organ of her body and ten days later she was gone.

My emotional hurt had all but scarred over, when her mother Retha Morrison died the next year. It felt as those scars were ripped open and raw, coming a little more than a year after Cindy’s death. The month of March didn’t claim Retha, but her passing fell so close to her daughter’s death the redoubled hurt and pain came back.

My mother Sybil Beck had suffered with Alzheimer’s disease for several years, slowly descending into that Nether-World of neither life nor death that separated her mind from her body. On the third anniversary of Cindy’s passing, my mom’s body and mind became one again, united in Heaven. The very same day, three years later, cursed the month of March for my family, many refusing to make any major decision during this month. They’ve even rushed or postponed surgeries to avoid March. Superstitious, probably, cautious definitely, but none-the-less this feeling of dread for the month of March is a reality.