Oh Poo
Several years ago, I was driving in Mount Pleasant with Anna Beck Prinkey my daughter. We stopped at a traffic light and saw a car coming in the opposite direction. It stopped at the light. When I looked I thought I could see the silhouette of the driver with sun glinting off the surface of the sunglasses she was wearing. The inside of the car remained dark and only the glasses stood out.
I turned to Anna and shared my thoughts with her, saying “All I can see of the driver is the sunglasses. It looks like his eyes are glowing.”
Anna replied, “Yeah, but I can see the silhouette too, but her eyes do look like they are glowing.”
When the stoplight turned green and the car started to pull forward the angle of the sun on the windshield and silhouette of the woman disappeared and the so did her glasses. What appeared was totally unexpected.
On the windshield was bird crap. Two splotches of white poop were positioned exactly in front of the driver’s face. It looked like the mirrored lenses of a pair of sunglasses.
I think the thing that amazed me most was the poop was directly in front of her face and that she could see around it to drive.
Another story that includes bird poop involved my dad. He’d been outside working, probably washing his car or mowing the grass. He decided to come back inside after he had finished. He came into the house upset. A bird had flown over while he was walking up the hill and dropped a load on my dad. Not only did the bird poop in Dad’s hair, but managed to put some inside of his ear. The poop was white, runny, and plenteous. He headed directly to the bathroom and scrubbed himself until it was all gone.
Like the old adage, “Aren’t you glad cows don’t fly?”
Since we are talking about poop, I’ll tell a hunting story. Ken, me, and our dad were hunting in our usual place near Somerset, Pennsylvania. We’d taken Dad there for years. Dad walked to “his spot” and saw hunter’s orange in his area. He changed direction and sat nearby. The orange was in eyesight. all day long. Dad sat and watched for a deer. Dad didn’t see the orange move all morning. When he left the area, he walked closer so he could see the “hunter.” What he saw was something was just a hunter’s hat. The hunter had apparently taken a dump and used the hat to clean his bottom and left the hat behind. Dad hadn’t gone to his spot because of a phantom hunter.