When What to My Wandering Eyes Should Appear...

One of my more unforgettable moments occurred while I was working the emergency department in Orlando, Florida. A middle aged woman brought her son in to be seen. He was about three or four years old. He had the sniffles and a sore throat. I had already questioned the mother and squatted down to evaluate her son.

The beds in the emergency rooms in their low position were the height that an adult’s feet barely touched the floor when they sat on the edge of the mattress.

The kid's mom was wearing a shorter skirt, just above the knees. When I squatted, my face was almost at her knees. I was feeling the glands in boy's neck, when I noticed a movement out of the corner of my eyes. I glanced over to see what it was. The mother had spread her legs as wide as the narrow skirt would allow and what to my wandering eyes should appear but a pair of leopard print panties. That was only part of it. The panties were CROTCHLESS! It was the only time I ever saw a leopard in the bush or would it have been a bush in the leopard. I never did figure that one out.

After I finished the shortened, quick examination of the boy, I beat a hasty retreat out of the cubicle and left the patient and his mother for the physician to evaluate. I didn’t warn the physician of the amBUSH. After all, he had played enough tricks on me in the past.