I responded to an ad in the Tribune Review yesterday. It was for Character-Santa. The ad was looking for a natural bearded man. (It didn't say man, but I assumed, although my brother I have seen a woman who would fit the bill.) This person was wanted for a local mall for a six to seven week promotion. Will train. Must love children.
Now that I am retired, I was looking for something to keep me busy with some more of my free time; something different, something part time or casual. This was definitely different and I like people, so I called the number that was given.
I reached a woman in New Jersey and talked to her about the particular. She explained that I would be under contract. The promotional would be over Christmas and I would be the Santa Clause for Westmoreland Mall.
Cool, it was local. I asked how log do I have to grow a full beard" (I have a goatee now.) She said it was for the Christmas season. When I asked for further details, she shared that I would be expected to work from ten A. M. until nine P. M. with two meal breaks of thirty minutes and two restroom breaks of fifteen minutes,
I asked about the salary, the contract would give me $7.500.00 for those six o seven weeks and they would bring me to New Jersey for training, but here's the kicker: I would have to work seven days a week (There was a slight reduction in hours on Sunday, thank God.) I am to send a photograph via email in three weeks when my beard is fuller. SEVEN DAYS A WEEK! That's just nuts. She said it was if a child came back, the child would expect to see the same Santa there to greet them. I can see that point, but seven days a week. That is one reason that I retired, too many hours. This sounded as though all I needed was a ball and chain like the road gangs.
I may still send her a photo after I see how much growth I have by that time, but am I going to play Santa. Sorry children only someone VERY good will sit on my lap this year.
The following has nothing to do with Santa.

The wind plays in the sails and in the rigging as well
Singing songs as onward we sail
Waves keeping beat slapping the hull
Gulls leading the singing with loud and raucous voice
Sail on silvery soul seeking harbor safe
Set your anchor deep away from the storm
Anchored in the lee away from the winds
Moonlight dances on the deck silver shoes on her feet
Rocking to the sound of waves splashing on the hull
Salty sea air fills the nostrils the splashing rain cools
Clouds cover the moon's face darkness pours like molasses
Lights begin to glow from the berths below.
The ship gently rocks while the storm rages overhead.